Screened Windows

            There had to be screens.  As much as I loved the look of the big, tinted, length-of-the-van windows of the ProMaster passenger vans, once it occurred to me that they could not be opened, and therefore offered no ventilation, I had an easy time crossing that style off my wish list.

            Even if they had been hinged at the top so the bottoms could pop out a couple of inches – like the side door and back door windows did on ZDog and Moby and Blue Man and Max – I still would have had a problem with them.  Sure, that would let air in, but it would also let bugs in.  And bugs are a big, big no-no, Jojo, unless we’re discussing best cartoon bunny.  In that case – and that case only – I’m all for Bugs.

            Yeah, yeah, food chain, birds gotta eat too, all that, fine.  Just keep the bugs away from me.

            And that’s exactly why there had to be screens. 

            But, hold on a second.  Bugs?  Bugs Bunny?  Bugs??  You named him Bugs??  You named your smartass animated rabbit after a bunch of insects?  I have to admit that, until now, it never really crossed my mind what an awful first name that is. 

            Bobby Bunny?  Bert Bunny?  Benny Bunny?? 

            Was Bugs supposed to be a play on the quintessential gangster nickname Bugsy?  That one is pretty smoggy too, now that I think about it.

            Well, crappy first name or not, Bugs was the best wabbit on the big screen.

            Screens.  Yes, there had to be screens.  To keep Bugs Bunny the hell out of my van.  Daffy Duck too.  Nobody needs duck down in their van (unless it’s in their pillow).

            So, as soon as I got a gander (yuk-yuk) at Motion Windows’ configuration, with the large pane over two short ones in a slider set-up, I was intrigued.  But once I saw that the sliding pane was screened as well, I was hooked. 

  

            And what a nice bonus to have that screen slide open!  My conversion vans that had sliding windows with screens had static screens that did not open.  Every now and then, you like to be able to open that, maybe to dump out the dregs of a beverage, or to shoot a potential intruder without putting a bullet hole in your mesh.

            Back when my side yard was overrun with roosters, I would sometimes sit Moby or Zdog and take pot shots at the obnoxious bastids with my BB pistol.  I shot through the narrow gap of the hinged side-door window, but it would have been so much easier to lie on the bed and aim out that screened opening.

            Now, don’t freak out on me.  I did not shoot to kill.  I did not even shoot to wound.  I found out to my delight that I was an excellent shot with that low-level firearm, so I took proper aim and sent that tiny projectile whizzing right through their tail feathers – enough to startle the crap out of them but leave them unscathed.

            It worked too.  Those cocky cocks skedaddled over to the empty lot next door for a week or two.  When they sidled their way back over, I gave them another salvo and chased them off again.

            Hey, roosters suck.  Do not envision the stereotype of the noble bird trumpeting in the day at sunrise.  Those mofo’s screeeeeeeeech like they are being castrated, and they do it 24/7.  If you’ve ever had rival roosters having a shriek fest under your bedroom window from 2:00 to 4:00 AM, you’d be shooting at them too.

            So, yeah, there had to be screens.  =)